Starting Over

How mighty 12 letters can be.

As you well know, things have been looking a bit “lights out” on the Voice Over work of Cari Favole. However, that’s not the end of my story. I refuse to let it be the end of my story.

I’ve often joked that my greatest accomplishments were done out of spite; that’s not entirely hyperbolic either. I was accepted to the University of Georgia as a freshman despite my weak SAT score. I’ve fought and pushed my way into many job opportunities that on paper I wasn’t qualified for…. I am nothing if not persistent, determined, and driven.

So, why don’t I treat my passion with the same vigor?

Well, it’s not that I don’t. But rather, I feel a continual stream of guilt and selfishness. Yes, I could do that thing but it would be more responsible not to. That option might work out but it’s more logical to go the safe route. I focus so much on what society wants – a great job title, making decent salary, look a certain way – that I don’t allow myself to prioritize what I want.

That’s not to say my decisions are always wrong or selfless. In the grand scheme of things, I don’t have many regrets and I have learned from every experience I’ve faced.

But as I recently said in a fully transparent interview, I’ve put so much of my focus on the work side of the “Work-Life balance” that I’ve lost sight of my Life. I declined party invitations so I could study more or work through college; getting great grades and an education was more important than socializing. That mentality has followed me well into adulthood.

For better or worse, I am not ready-to-bake cookie-cutter dough. I am intelligent and capable; I can do many things. Excel in various careers. I’ve proven that! But it’s not my ikigai.

To fully explain myself, I need to provide you with some details.

I found myself in a very literal cross-roads over the past week or so. After applying to any “Project Manager”, “Project Coordinator”, “Assistant Project Manager”, and “Junior Producer” position I could find for an entire month and only receiving rejection letters or silence, I started broadening my outreach. As I had recently survived the heartbreak of giving up on Voice Acting,I had no more fight within me to try and win my “Plan B.” What was the point of obtaining my Project Management Professional Certification if the positions all require 10 years of experience and I only have 5?

I dejectedly went on to “Plan C.” Find a great, stable job doing anything, and just accepting life at face value. To be frank, I’m not completely convinced this still won’t be my conclusion but that’s just the doubt talking.

Applying to any “Client Success Management” or “Customer Service” job that wasn’t telemarketing or retail, I began to branch out even further to the non-profit sector (thanks again to my very talented Branding & Graphic Design professional, Ray Stiles – seriously, go check him out!) and on a whim, applied to an “Engagement Director” position that quite frankly, I was not qualified for – I didn’t have any of the direct experience that was required.

But I was invited to interview anyway. So, I went.

Now, it so happened that I had also heard back from an industry ‘contact’ for Project Management within the Entertainment Industry, who provided me with some words of wisdom: Never turn down a job and be prepared to give your time for free; the industry is all about making connections and networking. If someone likes you, they don’t care what’s on your resume – you’ll be hired because they want to work with you.

A hard pill to swallow for sure. Networking hasn’t been my friend in terms of growing my VO business, so I have little faith in my ability to organically-connect with anyone. But for some reason, I decided to act on a whim: I applied to some internships; 6 in total.

Immediately, I received a response from the one I was initially most excited about – streaming video gameplay. I was “overqualified” to intern. Great. That’s about what I expected to hear.

My initial interview with the non-profit went really well and I immediately was invited to interview with three additional team members to make sure the close-knit group would all mesh with me. I felt heard, and welcomed, and all the meetings went so well, all right around 1.5hrs that felt more like a conversation than an interview. This non-profit not only is something I support but the people involved are all truly wonderful.

But….

I heard back from the internship. 5 to be exact. One I turned down because I didn’t think there was much potential to really learn anything (I’m pretty confident in my audio editing abilities for podcasts specifically already). Three I accepted, and one I had to turn down because I am now at-capacity and they were the last to respond to me.

Although I have officially been offered & accepted all three, I have not gone through any onboarding procedures and therefore do not know what their privacy clauses may be. So, until I am given permission to divulge more information, I will stay very generic:

• Primary Internship is for a Film Studio; I will be going in-office 3 days a week.
• Secondary Internship is working with a STEM/STEAM non-profit, specifically on the Art & Technology side of things.
• Tertiary Internship is not 3rd of importance but rather the least involved as I will be a writing-contributor for a Gaming community website.

That is all I am willing to say, for now. Let me continue my story.

Primary internship responded first and as I was speaking in the interview and hearing what my tasks and responsibilities would be, it literally felt like a breath of fresh air for my soul. You know when you eat menthol or use vick’s vapor rub and you get that “cold / opening” sensation, like a breeze is in your lungs? It felt like that.

As my sister would describe it, “it made my heart sing.”

THIS was what I was searching for; this is what I truly want. But, it will take 12hrs/wk of my time (plus the occasional extra time for practicing on-set tasks). Could I really go through with this?

To keep things short: I have had two paying jobs in which I have felt satisfied in my being. Connecticut School of Broadcasting and MCNE Studios. I had valid reasons for leaving them both but ultimately I mourned them like a break-up or a death in the extended-family. I felt validated as a Creative. I was accepted for my peculiarities. And I was free to express myself creatively.

That’s not to say I haven’t enjoyed my other jobs. I did honestly enjoy the challenge of being a Client Success Manager and a Project Manager; that’s why that’s the area I would try to work in should I not pursue a Creative role.

But, this non-profit, while an incredibly amazing opportunity and a great employer (benefits, PTO, the whole shebang!), would not be able to give me that feeling. And it wouldn’t be fair to take that opportunity knowing that.

So, with careful discussion with my support pillars – my sister and my romantic partner – I decided to “Start Over” with the internship. I officially declined the offer to continue with the non-profit and the response I got was very touching, so I will share it now. Please note, I did edit to remove any identifiers:

I am sad and disappointed to some degree that this is who I am. But for better or worse, this is indeed ‘who I am’ and it’s better that I acknowledge that now than burn myself out in three months.

So, what does this “Starting Over” look like? Well….

It’s looking REALLY busy! I will be cataloging my Internship(s) on my YouTube Channel – https://www.youtube.com/@psypris But don’t worry! If you read my blog here, I will be sharing my thoughts + videos over here as well. Here are the first two videos:

* DAY ZERO: Starting My Vlogging Journey | The Professional Intern
* Imposter Syndrome | Cari Uncut

PLEASE NOTE: You, my dear readers, are hearing about this FIRST! I have a scheduled video coming out on Monday with the announcement but if any of the internships wish to be kept anonymous, that might affect what I share.

I will also be LIVESTREAMING on Twitch. I’ll be starting with some Gaming content, just for the ease of things, but I will be opening it up to other content once I figure out what to do to still be entertaining. https://www.twitch.tv/psyprisvyn

My goal is to fully experience starting over from the ground up. Each internship knows my history and what I am hoping to achieve and I have promised them to treat their opportunities with respect and give them my all. I’m not “above” doing menial tasks; I am an intern and I acknowledge that. (Though I will say, none of the supervisors gave a vibe of ‘using’ their interns. Just wanted to clarify that). I’m a unique “challenge” for them, in that I do not need a college credit, so my involvement can be a bit more fluid.

And so with that, this blog is revived! “A surprise, to be sure. But a welcome one.”

I will be posting hopefully at least once a week (video format but with a supplemental written portion for the blog) as the ideal ‘daily’ vlog would be very challenging to pull off; but we will see!

You never know what can happen – that’s the beauty of starting over.